What's the type? that you can't date with...

I had a pleasant evening with my friend, H, today. He brought me a lovely candelabrum as a gift, which is from his Bali trip last week. Bali is very famous as these crafts. I like it a lot. We had dinner together, as he would like me to give him some ideas for finding a great gift to the girl he likes.

He is now 34 years old, and still chasing the girl for more than two years. The young lady seems not easy to get. She always got boys around and used to hand up his phone call. He likes the girl a lot, but hasn't got the chance to date her. All he could do is keeping her in his mind and sending flowers and gifts each Chinese Valentine's day. Last year was a big Teddy bear with a swarovski necklace and a big bunch of roses. But he wondered if it was not good enough for her…

I told him the gift is not that important, but the feeling, the chemistry. In fact, he never be in a real relationship so far, that's why he doesn't know what a girl want. He got several girls liked him before, but all not his type. The type he likes is always very hard to get. I suddenly found this might be the main reason for him not to date a girl yet! He always run for the same type that them might not like him at all. If he didn't realize it, he might not find the one for his life forever.

Like my elder cousin, B, who is 38 years old, and very successful at his business, but still not get married. He is tall, handsome, gentle, which is the type that every girl dreams to have. But, he is still single. I think he is not picky as he got engaged twice. The main reason for him not to get married is the two girls dumped him before the weddings! I was very sorry for him. But, I think he might need to change his type, his girl type. The girls he dated before have almost the same type, not only the appearance, but also the character. And that might be the type the girls would not give their hands on his hand. If he changed his thoughts, giving other type of girls a chance to date. That might be worked finally! What do you think?

Tell, or be quiet?

Tom, a professional engineer in a famous international company, who is dating a fabulous beautiful lady but also having an affair with his ex few weeks ago. He said he felt guilty to his girlfriend. He is in love with her, but it was so exciting to meet his ex. He didn't mean to keep this as a secret to his girlfriend, he is just afraid to hurt anyone. His ex is married, but she told him he is the only one she loved which is the main reason for him to meet her. Everything was so perfect! Until he found himself got too busy and exhausted between three of them. Then, he stopped seeing his ex and went back to the lovely girlfriend. They're doing well now, except he felt so guilty to his girlfriend all the time. He would like to confess about everything if he could…

That's the topic for us to talk during today's teatime. Tom was one of my blind dates several months ago, and we became friend later. We seldom see each other, or I should say I didn't have his news for a long while. But, I know why he asked me out for discussing this situation. I'm the one who doesn't know his friends at all, which is very safe for him to share this with me. He asked about my opinion for telling her the truth or not!

It's really a hard question for me. If I were the girl, I would like to know the truth that I can dump him right away. But, it would be very hurtful if I loved him a lot! Or maybe I won't like to know the whole story as I might have plenty questions about myself. Like I'm not good enough for him to be loyal to me and let him get an excuse to meet someone else… Oh! That would be awful! So, I asked him if she is the one he would like to stay for a long time or not. If she is, please don't tell her anything. If she isn't the one, please still don't tell her the truth at all. As it would be very terrible to know the horrible truth!

Well, it's just the answer for him! Part of my thinking, if I were the girl's friend, I might like to tell her the truth as I don't know if he would still have another affair later or not. He is not going to be a good man for her! But, who knows. Maybe this was just a big test for them to know how important they belong to each other.

He said he would like to follow my suggestion to their relationship. Not to tell the truth, just keep quiet. I don't know if this is right or not. What do you think? If you were I, would you ask him to confess everything or not? I was just very lucky that I'm not any of the girls in the story! Ha-ha

Strong love

Can you live apart from your lover? Which means you're still in love with each other, but needs to be separated for some reasons in a period of time?

One of my lovely cousins got a fine new job in Taipei county recently. She lived in the south TW for the past ten years, but for the job she needs to leave her husband & the pets to the north at least half of a year. I really admire her courage and the love from her husband. If I were she, I cannot do as well as that. I must not that bravely to leave everything I have. It is really not easy for people leaving their original life, especially the one who got the partner in life. You need to discuss a lot of things, anything that matters you & your mate. Like: you're used to have him/her to give you a hand if you need instantly. You could easily get someone sharing your happy or blue time, you won't lonely in your life.

For me, if you love each other, try your best to be together forever is very important! Life is so short! Don't waste time at something that has no meaning to you.

You might tell me that in this modern time, we got internet, phone, msn, skype...a lot of stuff could be the convenient tools for you to get in touch with each other. Don't be that sad for separating. Indeed! We really have these useful implements to say any words to our lovers. That's helpful to use that if you only be apart for one day, one week or it's for just friends. What if it will happen for more than six months or longer for sweethearts? That could be cruel to them.

It will be a very big challenge for a loving couple to live apart. They must put each other deeply in the heart. Thinking of him/her incessant. What he/she is doing now? Did he/she have a good day? Did he/she have meal or not? How's the weather there? Is she/he missing me the more as I did...

There must be plenty of couples living such a life all over the world. Some people might say "it's not a big deal! It’s just a test of love. If they really love each other, they would be easily passing the exam. If not, that means they don't really love each other." I doubt it! Love can be tested? If you love him/her, why you need to do the test? To prove the love? I think it's only for the one who is not sure he/her loves each other. If you absolutely love each other, you won't do this.

For my cousin's case, they've been together for a lot of years. Mature love would get them through this kind of situation. They've thought a lot of ways to deal with it. She will try her best to transfer back to her sweet hometown ASAP. Before that, she is going to bus home 10 hours for a round-trip each week. And her husband will do that if he got a day off. What a long journey! But, it's truly worth a love hug...

Happily Ever After

This weekend I attended one wedding and one engagement party in my hometown. They're all for my cousins, one is the son of my uncle from my father; the other is the son of my big aunt from my mother. Although it's modern times now, the weddings were still traditional types. Getting married in Taiwan needs to go through many rituals and expenses yet. Actually, it will cost a fortune.

Even though men in Taiwan no longer have to present large sums of money to their future wives' parents for giving the thanks, they have to pay money for the wedding. After proposal to his girlfriend, the man needs to ask his girlfriend's parents for permission to marry her. Then, the couple needs to prepare their engagement party first. In Taiwan, it's usually held in bride's hometown as a wedding, which will only invite the relatives and friends of the bride and only a few families of the groom. They need to take the wedding photographs as a very big photo album, which will spend them a lot of money that will including the wedding dresses, makeup and bouquet they need on the engagement party and the wedding day. Also they need to book a good restaurant after checking the number of the guests, which is a hard problem for the couple. In Taiwan, you need to decorate the restaurant by yourself, or you need to spend money to ask someone to help you out. Besides these, the couple has to buy wedding cookies for the bride's guests which usually go with the wedding invitation cards. This is another expense of the wedding.

At the engagement party in the bride’s home, all the elders of broom’s family has to take a seat in the bride's living room for the bride to treat each other a glass of tea which is the good beginning to greet the bride. Everyone needs to dry the glass of tea before the bride to get them back, and put a big red envelope in the glass. It's the sign for welcome the bride to become their family member. After that, the couple needs to put on each other's ring. In addition, their mothers also need to put a golden necklace on each other for giving the biggest blessings. This is main point of the engagement. Without this ritual, they're not really got married in traditional culture. And the engagement party will be held after the main point. It will be a great treat to give thanks everyone's greetings & helps. Before the banquet, each guest has to give the couple cash-filled red envelopes helps pay for the food.

The wedding usually will be held in groom's hometown, but will be easier than the engagement party. Usually having the wedding banquet for the guests and some will invite friends to say something for the couple. That is the sweetest time of the wedding I think. Even after all the rituals, the newlyweds will still face the expenses of a honeymoon. Not everyone could pay for all these bills at one time, it might need several years. Maybe it's because of these big expenses for a wedding; couples must try their best to keep the happiness in the marriage life ever after for there's no one could offer another wedding. By the way, there will be many arguments happened during the wedding planning. If you go through them all successfully, it really means you can have each other in your life forever…